


The Joshua Hughes Legacy

by lambertfanfic



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: American Idol - RPS, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-02
Updated: 2011-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-22 03:41:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/233351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambertfanfic/pseuds/lambertfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is a rock star with a problem of falling for the wrong men so when his manager forces him to marry former child star Kris allen Adam doesn't know what he's letting himself in for.  Kris has been out of the limelight for ten years and is now making his comeback, but he's back with a secret and it's Adam's job to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Joshua Hughes Legacy

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The Joshua Hughes Legacy

 

Adam Lambert's life wasn't always this fucked up. There was a time when the weekly gossip rags didn't bring on a mild panic attack, or he didn't dread the sound of his own cell phone ringing because it meant management had read the latest blog, and were now calling to yell at him down the phone. Treating him like a fuck up when really all he was trying to do was fall in love.

There was a long line of guys he'd welcomed into his bed in the eight years since winning Idol. Each one breaking him apart, and leaving him just that little bit weaker for the next one to come along and do their damage to his soul. The latest search for love had ended with him being summoned to his managers office to be told off like a five-year-old. Ed or 'he could be the one' as Adam liked to call him had came up to him on a plane from London to LA, and with his British accent had charmed Adam right into bed the moment the plane landed. Now not even forty-eight hours later Adam was listening to the story of their love making being read back to him by Todd, his very pissed off manager.

“Ed tells our reporter that Lambert led him up into his bedroom where he quickly undressed himself before asking Ed to come join him on the bed. He had freckles everywhere..... Do I need to go on?” Todd launched the printed article across the room, letting it flutter to the floor at Adam's feet. “You fucked up yet again, so I'm not going to argue with you over this. You fucked up and now you're going to have to man up and deal with it.” And Adam knew what deal with it meant. It was the same argument they'd been having for months now with Adam refusing point blank to go along with his mangers crazy idea. But now with the latest kiss and tell about to hit the headlines, he really didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

“He better be cute,” Adam huffed, bending down to pick up the kiss and tell article before turning around and marching out of his manager’s office.

 

#

 

Todd's bizarre plan for Adam had first came up after a disastrous two week relationship with a dancer, where Adam was convinced his new bed partner was going to cure him of all his loneliness and he quickly set up home with his after only eight days. But after coming home early one night to find his new love rolling around naked in their bed with another man, Adam was left heartbroken and confused by it all. He soon realized his taste in men was pitiful, but Todd came up with a plan that a lot of Hollywood managers have had over the years, only his plan had a new twist. After years of fighting the laws had been changed, and same sex marriage was now finally accepted through out America with no clauses. So Todd's great idea was to turn Adam's reputation as Hollywood's biggest serial dater to one of a singer in a loving stable relationship with another celebrity. Todd would be the one to choose Adam's man, because he made it clear to Adam that he was not capable of finding the right man. It was an open secret around the entertainment industry that most celebrity marriages were not exactly romantic ones. It didn't hurt if two famous people came together in marriage to boost their image. Adam himself had attended more than a few celebrity weddings where the men hardly knew their new brides. In fact he'd been to a few where he'd known the groom better than the bride ever would. So when Todd first revealed his idea to Adam the singer had put his foot down to marrying a woman. He had been out and proud since since beating Gokey in the Idol final eight years earlier, and he wasn't going back in the closet for anyone. But now with the laws finally changing Todd was now insisting on finding the perfect man for Adam to marry. There was a small part of Adam that loved the idea of finding a man he could love and trust, but after eight years of searching and coming up with nothing, he really was losing hope. So he would let it go and let Todd do the searching for him. He would get his husband and the media would get a new couple to brand and fall all over, Adam would give up the idea of love to have it all.

 

#

 

By the time he drove back from Todd's office to his home in the Hollywood hills the news of his latest romps had began filtering through to the blogs and gossip sites They were all taking great delight in his suffering and learning the added bonus that he did in fact have freckles everywhere. His Mom was waiting at the front door for him when he climbed out the car. She had a glass of wine in her hand with and a warm smile that was reserved for Adam or Neil. “Todd called,” Todd was always calling her much to Adam's annoyance, and half the time his calls had nothing to do with Adam and all to do with the bizarre relationship his Mom and manager had been involved in for the past year and a half.

“I'm okay Mom,” he said, accepting the glass of wine from his Mom's outstretched hand, “men are just bastards, that's all.” Leila's painted on smile only wavered slightly at her son's words before it was back and she was ushering her oldest child into the house. He turned down his Mom's request to come and talk it all over to go up to his room and pout over his laptop at whatever the gossip sites were saying about him now. When he walked into his bedroom and saw the unmade bed from the last love making session with Ed, his stomach turned. It had only ended five hours earlier with the promise to get together for dinner during the week. An hour later Todd was calling with the news of a kiss and tell story, and Adam was on the floor on his knees trying his best not to cry in Todd's ear as his manger yelled at him yet again. In the hour it took for Ed to leave Adam's bed and get the best money for his story, Adam had called a hand full of close friends to tell them Ed was special. He groaned as he sat on the edge of the unmade bed, remembering his talk he'd have with Brad the moment Ed's car disappeared out his drive. He'd called Ed special, told Brad he'd never felt like this before, and at that moment he'd been telling the truth. Adam could easily see himself swept up in love with the cute blond Brit he'd only met forty-eight hours before. They'd only had one real conversation which if Adam thought back on now wasn't as deep as he'd first thought. While Adam talked about his latest album and how spiritual it was for him to make, Ed had talked about his body hair and now he had to trim it everyday just so it looked perfect. He couldn't bare the memories the unmade bed were now bringing back to him, so he turned around to go back downstairs with his Mom. He'd just got to the bottom of the stairs when Todd came bounding in.

“I did it,” Todd announced all smiles as he past Adam to go find Leila in her usual place at Adam's kitchen table. “I did it,” he said again causing Leila to jump up and down obviously knowing more about Todd's little plan more that she was letting on to Adam. “He accepted.”

“Who's accepted?” Adam came round the kitchen table to stand behind his Mom's chair to look his manger in the eye. “Has this got something to do with the marriage thing?” He asked but Todd was too busy making puppy dog eyes at Leila. Adam had warned him about that, it freaked him out to think of his manager and his Mom and whatever the hell they were to each other. “Who the fuck accepted?” Adam yelled when the love heart eyes got too much for him to take.

“Your new husband,” Todd answered while keeping his eyes focused on Leila. “Kris Allen's agent accepted the offer.” Todd added as he finally pulled his focus from Leila to look at Adam. “It great isn't it?”

“Kris who?” Adam had no fucking clue who Kris was or why he was happy to accept a proposal Adam hadn't even offered.

“Kris Allen,” Leila answered like Adam should know who he is just by the mention of his name. “Kris Allen,” she pressed but Adam knew repeating the name again wasn't going to make him suddenly remember. “From the Bear movie.” That was the trigger that got Adam's eyebrows raised.

“The child star?” There was no way he was going to marry a child star. They were even crazier that rock stars.

“Former child star,” Todd corrected, “he's twenty-four now, and he's willing to accept the offer.”

“I think it's a great idea,” Leila was practically beaming at the thought of it. Adam remembered all the torturous Saturday nights he would be made to sit with his mom because the cool kids didn't invite him to the party. He would be forced to sit and suffer through the awful movie just because it was his mom's favorite.

“Is he even gay?” And in big boy pants he wanted to add, but one look at his Mom's happy face and he was biting his tongue. “Because I don't want the blame for dragging some child star out of the closet.”

“Former child star and he came out when he was seventeen,” Todd answered, “he's on a plane right now from Rwanda.” Leila did her little happy dance that was usually only reserved for when Adam did something good. “He's excited to meet you.” Todd finished before pulling Leila into his arms and kissing her in a way that made Adam want to punch him in the face for even thinking about his Mom in that way.

“I'll be in my room.” Adam slumped off to his room like a moody teenager who just caught his parents making out in the kitchen. He couldn't exactly call Todd a father figure but the forty something man had really taken care of him in the eight years he'd been his manager so Adam had made peace with the fact he was now dating his Mother. He shrugged off the dizzy sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he entered his bedroom seeing the unmade bed again to grab his laptop from his night stand. If he was going to be married to Kris Allen he would have to know what he looked like. The last image of Kris Allen that Adam had in his mind was of Oscar night ten years ago when he won best supporting actor for that god awful bear movie. It seems after that night Kris Allen just disappeared.

 

#

 

Kris Allen was not what Adam was expecting when he Googled his name later than night. Most of the former child stars he knew were all strung out drug addicts, and all looking for their next big come back. They had all stopped being cute, and were now just pathetic with a shit load of issues that made Adam look normal in comparison. But as he typed Kris Allen into Google's search he was met with something completely different than the image in his head. There was no out of control drug habit or any other career suicide behavior, just a small article from the summer of 2000 revealing that child star Kris Allen had surprisingly giving up his hot Hollywood acting career to move to Rwanda to start up an orphanage with the money he'd earned from acting. Adam searched some more to find the orphanage's website filled with Kris happily posing with kids he had rescued from the streets of Rwanda after their parents had died from aids. Adam was pleasantly surprised as he scrolled through the photo gallery on the site at Kris's smiling face, the ten years had been good to the former child star. Adam admired Kris small compact body as he let his eyes scan over one picture of Kris standing in front of a tree in only a pair of shorts while a young boy stood beside him, them both smiling brightly at the camera. He was defiantly Adam's type and if he saw him in a club he would notice him instantly. He could see the kindness shinning from him. It was not the image of a former child star that Adam was used to, but he just hoped Kris's idea of a rock star with Adam Lambert.

 

#

 

Kris stood at the entrance of LAX as the paparazzi fought over a pretty blonde Kris had no idea about, while she struggled to enter through the airport doors. He was waiting for Adam's manager to show up and take him to his new home. He still couldn't believe that this was about to be his life again after ten years away, and to make things more complicated he was marrying rock star Adam Lambert. He'd laughed his head off when the plan was first explained to him, but after Googling Adam's name his laughter soon stopped as he watched a video of the rock star strutting across the stage, wearing what Kris could only describe as a cat suit. A woman's cat suit finished off with it's very own glittery cod piece, and a pair of seven inch leather boots. He couldn't believe he'd been asked to marry someone like that. Someone that didn't look like they belonged in this world. It had been ten years since he'd set foot in LA and things had changed a lot from the looks of it. It was also ten years since he'd thought about his career, a career he didn't really care about until five months ago when his Mama called him telling Kris his ex agent was looking for him. Alex Handler was one of Hollywood's top agents first making a name for himself with Kris over fifteen years ago ,and now he was controlling the careers of a lot of A-listers. So when he called Kris's Mama Kris knew it was a call he had to return. But after an hour on the phone to his ex agent Kris hung up feeling very confused by Alex's offer. Over the years Alex had searched Kris down with a script that was in Alex's words made for Kris, or a crazy idea but each time Kris had politely turned him down. He turned him down again with the mention of marrying Adam Lambert, but after finishing his daily work and laying down on his tiny bed his mind wandered back to the talk he'd had with Alex. He really did want to act again. It had always been something that entered his mind late at night when the house was quiet, but using a rock star to get it didn't sit well with him. There was another call from Alex a few days later with a promise that Adam Lambert was excited about the idea. It was five more months of back and forth between Alex and Adam's people and now here he stood at LAX watching a black car slow down to a stop in front of him. The door quickly swung open and a hand came out motioning him inside. Kris moved towards the car fighting the smirk that threatened to break out on his face as he thought of every mafia parody he'd ever seen. Once inside with the door closed behind him Kris was met with three men all in dark suits all wearing the same blank expression on their faces.

“Todd,” the man sitting next to Kris said holding out his hand for Kris to shake. Kris took the outstretched had giving the other two men a cautious look. “I'm Adam's manager, and these are Adam's lawyers,” Todd nodded his head to the two men in suits sitting up front. Kris gave a polite nod hiding the slight smirk trying to form on his face. Todd said nothing else feeling no need to explain any further, so Kris had no names to learn they were just all Adam's people.

“Will I be meeting Adam today?” He had the sinking feeling now that he didn't want to meet the rock star after meeting his people, but he had to say something to end the painful silence that now filled the car and bringing Adam's name up was the only thing he could think of to do. Adam's name was the only thing polluting his mind for weeks now, ever since that first night he'd stayed up watching youtube videos of the memorizing singer.

“He's at home waiting for you,” Kris nodded his head at Todd's answer before turning to look out the tinted window at the streets of LA he once knew so well.

 

#

 

The feeling of complete dread that was now running through Adam's body was making him want to run. If Leila wasn't sitting at his side on the sofa holding his hand he would have bolted from the house, and gotten as far away from Kris as he physically could. It felt like he was waiting for Kris to be delivered to him like he'd ordered him online. “Do you think he'll like me?” Adam hated that he was asking his mom a question like that. That Kris was making him doubt himself without ever having met him.

“Of course he will.” Leila shook her head like it was the silliest thing she'd ever heard. “Everything's going to be great. From what I've read about him he seems like an amazing man, plus he's really cute,” Leila added with a smirk and Adam couldn't argue with his Mom on that. Kris could defiantly be described as cute, but cute was old news to Adam now. He could have cute anytime he wanted. He could walk down any street in LA and find a cute guy in seconds. What he wanted was real. Someone he could open up to and connect with. And if he was really lucky someone who could love him for real this time instead of pretending.

 

#

 

To say things went very awkward very fast when Todd opened the front door and ushered Kris inside would be an understatement, it was almost unbearable for Adam to be in the room. They were introduced to each other like it was some sort of business meeting and not a first date. He tried to think of something to say when Kris walked directly in front of him sticking out his hand and smiling brightly up at him, but the only word that came to mind was 'cute'. Thankfully Leila stepped in to do her motherly duty of asking Kris if he was hungry, and Adam didn't have to embarrass himself too much. He listened from the hallway to his Mom and Kris talk like they were old friends before sneaking out the front door ignoring Todd's hushed whisper demanding him to get back inside.

That was pretty much how the first three days of Kris's arrival played out. Kris walked in one door and Adam sneaking out the other. He wasn't trying to be rude, but he just knew at that moment when Kris first walked through the front door that Adam was not his type. He also knew that listening to Kris talk to his Mom that he was exactly his type. And if he'd learned anything from the eight years of searching for love in the night life of LA's clubs Adam knew getting close to the cute guy that now was taking over his house like he owned it, was not going to end well for him. He would have to focus on the business deal Todd talked so much about, and ignore that feeling in his heart every time Kris Allen entered his thoughts. So hiding in his bedroom and sneaking out the house at seven am every morning was better than trying to have a conversation with Kris Allen, and running the risk of scaring him and sending him packing back to Rwanda.

 

#

 

Luckily for Adam he was busy recording his new album so contact with Kris was very rare. Kris had settled in pretty well, and had quickly became best friends with Leila, and following her around as she went about taking care of Adam's personal business. It wasn't until the sixth night of Adam trying to sneak into his own house at two in the morning after a long day of recording when he was met with Kris trying to sneak out. “sorry,” Adam stuttered out as he walked straight into the smaller man. “The recording took longer than I thought.” He didn't why he felt the need to explain himself to Kris, they weren't even married yet.

“Well you should sleep, you look tired.” Adam wanted to be offended by Kris's words but looking down at him and seeing the concern in his eyes he a rush of warmth running through him.

“I'm a big boy.” It was the only thing Adam could think of to say but it caused Kris to laugh.

“Big boys need sleep too,” Kris said before shaking his head and smiling. “Sorry, it's hard to turn off sometimes. I'm used to taking care of people.”

“Going out?” Adam asked cutting off any story Kris tried to tell. Hearing stories about rescuing orphans on the streets of Rwanda were not going to help Adam in his mission not to fall in love.

“There should be a cab waiting at the end of the street,” Kris shifted his gaze from Adam finally to look past him. “I should go.”

“Okay,” Adam stepped aside to let Kris by. “See ya,” he watched as Kris jogged down the drive and disappeared into the darkness. Adam must have stood at the front door for about twenty seconds before he found himself back in his own car, and driving away from his house just as the cab lights disappeared down the end of the street. He didn't know what he was doing, but something was telling him to follow his almost husband and see where he was going.

 

#

 

The cab finally slowed to a stop and Adam slumped in the front seat of his car, and watched as Kris spoke to the cab driver before turning and walking through the large metal gates. Adam waited for the cab driver to bury his nose in a newspaper before he climbed out his car and made his way towards the open gate only stopping to read the sign on the wall. Collward Cemetery.

Adam stayed in the shadows as he walked into the cemetery and towards the path Kris had taken. He found him quickly enough crouched down in front of a black stone talking to it loud enough that Adam could make out the word sorry being repeated over and over again as he tenderly stroked the stone with one had while cradling his head with the other. Adam could see Kris was crying, but knew going over to comfort him would only bring up the question of why Adam was following Kris in the middle of the night. The question he didn't have an answer to himself just yet. He just knew he couldn't walk away, so he stayed and watch as Kris stood to wipe the tears from his eyes before leaning down to kiss the stone. Adam stayed hidden in the shadows as Kris turned to walk away from the stone. It wasn't until the sound of the cab door slamming shut echoed through the dark did Adam move towards the stone to see exactly what would bring Kris to a cemetery at two in the morning.

The name on the stone read Joshua Hughes, a name Adam knew but only through the story telling of Hollywood's night life. Joshua Hughes was a name whispered in many gay clubs around LA as a sort of warning to someone who partied too hard. 'You don't want to end up like Joshua Hughes do you?' was a phrase that Adam had heard many times. He'd never been asked it himself, but he had been around a lot of cute twinks who had. He didn't know the exact details of Joshua Hughes only that he was the poster boy of all things bad in the club scene of LA, and something you didn't want to be connected with. But now as he stood in the dark looking down at the stone in front of him, Adam knew that Kris's connection with Joshua Hughes was one that he needed to know about.

 

#

 

The sun was coming up when Adam pulled his car into the driveway. He'd stayed longer than he should have at Joshua's stone, just sitting in the dark feeling an odd comfort as he talked to the grave stone like he was talking to someone in front of him. Even pausing between questions like he was waiting for Joshua to answer him. He sat telling a person he had never met his deepest feeling. How he felt about Kris, and how scared he was of letting his guard down because he knew he could easily fall in love with the cute actor. He asked Joshua questions about Kris knowing he wouldn't get an answer, but needing his mind to release some of the thoughts that had been going around his head since Kris's arrival. It wasn't until he stood to leave did he read the date on the stone. 4th June 2000, exactly ten years to the day.

 

#

 

Adam crept through the front door and up the stairs to his room without making a sound or being caught by his Mom who probably was well aware he hadn't been home all night. He might be twenty-eight years old but that didn't mean Leila Lambert was willing to give up her motherly duty on her oldest child. Once inside his room with the door locked Adam grabbed his laptop from the bedside table to find out exactly who Joshua Hughes was and what he meant to Kris.

 

#

 

It was the usual child star story. Joshua Hughes began his career aged four with commercials in New York before going on to small parts in Hollywood. It wasn't until the release of his first leading role when he was just thirteen did the name Joshua Hughes mean something in Hollywood. Adam read over the rest of the biography quickly learning about awards and other accomplishments, all that made Joshua Hughes sound like God’s gift to the entertainment industry. It wasn't until his eyes scanned over Kris's name at the bottom of the page did he slow down to take it in. Joshua Hughes and Kris Allen had first met on a Disney movie they starred in together and quickly became best friends. Adam clicked on a link to a youtube video that showed Joshua performing on stage with his band on the third of June 2000, he watched the sixteen-year-old strut across holding the crowd in the palm of his hand. The quote at the bottom of the video read last ever appearance of Joshua Hughes. Adam clicked on a link under the video to be taken to a newspaper article about the night Joshua Hughes died.

 

The Untimely Death of a Future Superstar

 

No one will know how well Joshua Hughes would have done as an adult but what is known is that for ten years he proved to us all that knew him how talented he was. Like most journalists in Hollywood I've seen it all but when I first met Joshua Hughes in the late summer of 1998 I knew I was meeting someone special. He was just like a young Johnny Depp with his tousled hair and amazing charisma, I knew the moment I laid eyes on him he wasn't like the others. Unlike the rest of the many rising stars running around Hollywood in the late nineties Hughes was shy and unassuming, and unlike the rest he hated any sort of publicity. He once said. “I keep my ego and happiness completely separate from my career, it's just a job and one that doesn't define who I am,” Hughes was happy to be making movies but he was just as happy to be sitting strumming on his guitar. The last time I spoke with Hughes was at a Hollywood party surrounded by every A Lister you could think of, but when he saw me he broke away and we chatted for over an hour about his latest movie role. A Disney style fantasy story about two brothers and their adventurous cross country trip to find their real parents. The movie also starred Kris Allen, the second youngest actor to ever win an Academy Award. Hughes said. “Once Kris and I met I just knew we were meant to be friends. I'm all over the place when it comes to my personality but Kris is so calm it balances our working relationship out. He's two years younger than me, and really is like a little brother,” It was Allen that was with Hughes on the 3rd of June when he sold out the Haven nightclub in LA with his Band. Hughes was previewing his first album and Allen was there on guitar for him. Around about one am both Hughes and Allen could be seen on the clubs security camera entering the VIP area where they stayed with the rest of Hughes band for an hour. Hughes was then seen storming out of the club with Allen close behind. The rest of the nights events have never truly been known. What is known is that at nine minutes past two in the morning a frantic 911 call was made from a payphone outside Haven nightclub. Police reports say that just after two am the car Hughes and Allen were traveling in crashed into a pole, while Allen stayed in the car Hughes was thrown throw the windscreen landing on the other side of the road. By the time help arrived Allen had pulled himself from the wreck and was knelt over his friend’s body trying his best to revive him. Joshua Hughes died in Allen's arms at 2:24am on the 4th of June 2000.

The days and weeks after Hughes death were filled with gossip over what really happened in the car to make Hughes lose control so badly. It wasn't until the autopsy reports came in that it was made clear just how bad things were for sixteen year old actor. Lethal levels of cocaine, morphine, Valium and Crystal Meth were found in his system. As someone who knew Joshua Hughes personally none of this made sense. The hippy like actor didn't even smoke, he was a health freak who was in the gym at seven every morning. He toured the country going to high school to educate children on the dangers of drugs. He was so anti-drug that it was a well-known fact that he insisted on drug testing for everyone on every movie he made. The car crash was blamed for Hughes death but drugs were almost certainly to blame for the crash. Joshua Hughes was buried two weeks after the accident with a small private funeral, Kris Allen being the only celebrity in attendance. Joshua Hughes death didn't just end one promising acting career. Kris Allen just couldn't cope with the tragic, and only three months after winning the Oscar he retired from making movies and moved to Rwanda. There has been many stories over the past few years since his death on what Joshua Hughes was really like. Some say he was a wild drugged out star like most child stars turn out to be but as someone who knew him I can say that Joshua Hughes was not the tragic star he's now made out to be. The young man I knew loved life and respected his life. The man I knew would not have risked it all for a high, and the tragedy of it all is that now the name Joshua Hughes doesn't mean amazing talent like it used to. Now a days the name Joshua Hughes is used as a warning to others and that is now the Joshua Hughes legacy.

 

#

 

Adam didn't sneak out of the house the next morning like he had been doing. Instead he joined his mom and Kris and the kitchen table for breakfast, earning a look of confusion from the two people across the table.

“No recording today?” Leila did her usual pottering around the kitchen like a mother from the nineteen-fifties.

“Thought I would take the day off,” Adam could feel Kris's eyes on him as he spoke. “Maybe just hang around home today, relax.”

“You could come with Kris and I to the paint store,” Adam ignored every sarcastic comment fighting to fall out his mouth to give his mom a soft smile.

“I think I might just hang around home today.” The only painting Adam was used to involved his nails.

“You'll just come with us. If you don't you'll have to help Todd with the next stage of his plan.” That took the smile off his face.

“Next stage?” Adam didn't like the sound of that.

“Todd is in talks with one of the photographers to have him accidentally catch you and Kris out on a date,”

Adam avoided looking at his soon to be husband who looked more interested in Adam than usual. “But I don't stage photo opportunities.” Well he did usually marry someone he didn't know either, so maybe things were changing.

“Just listen to Todd.” Leila stood from the table just as Todd made his entrance into the kitchen carrying a bundle of magazines in his hands.

“Ah you're up.” The large bundle of magazines slammed on the table loudly causing both Kris and Adam to jump. “I need you boys to figure out what magazine you're comfortable with.” Adam's hands went for Rolling Stone in pure instinct while Kris's hand hovered over a copy of Interview. “Whatever magazine you pick will be the magazine you do your first exclusive interview as a couple in.” Adam clutched the Rolling Stone magazine in his hands tight as he looked across the table at Kris. The young actor wasn't paying attention to anything in the room, his eyes were focused purely on the Interview magazine sitting in front of him. It wasn't until Adam let his eyes fall from Kris's face to the magazine did he see what the fascination was. In bold black letters was the name Joshua Hughes. The picture was of a teen, sitting sideways on a motorbike as he smiled brightly at the camera. “Well since Adam's got a history with Rolling Stone that would be the first choice.” Todd carried on talking not paying attention to Kris's sudden stillness. “But if you have a favorite Kris we would be happy to try it,” At the mention of his name Kris's head shot up to look at the three faces looking back.

“Do you have a connection with the Interview magazine Kris?” Adam stepped in to ask when Kris just continued to look at them all. “I don't mind what one we go with.”

“I used to work with Interview magazine,” Kris's eyes drifted back down to the picture of Joshua Hughes. “I had a friend who was pretty popular with the writers there, so they would let me interview celebrities for fun.” Kris tore his eyes from the magazine to look back up at Todd. “They do this thing where they let two celebrities interview each other.” Adam sat forward in his seat as Kris's eyes drifted from Todd to the magazine again. “My friend and I used to interview each other every other month, it was always a fun interview.”

Todd nodded along completely unaware of Kris's sudden sadness. “So you and Adam interviewing each other that could totally work.” Todd grabbed for the Interview magazine making Kris flinch as his hand covered Joshua's face. “I'll be in my office.” With a kiss to Leila, Todd disappeared back out the kitchen door leaving it silent.

Leila moved first, patting Kris on the shoulder as she passed him. “Lets go get that paint.”

“I'll just,” Adam stood looking at the kitchen door, “get dressed, maybe come with you guys.”

“That's okay sweetheart,” Leila smiled sweetly at her oldest son. “You don't have to come with us.”

“But I thought you wanted me to come.”

Leila stood behind Kris's chair to give Adam a look he knew well, the just do as your told look. “Just stay and help Todd. Kris and I will be fine on our own.”

Adam nodded understandingly as Leila came to give him a kiss goodbye. He was glad his mother had sensed Kris's sadness just as much as he had. “You guys have fun.”

 

#

 

With Kris out shopping with Leila and Todd locked away in his office putting the finishing touches to his 'plan' Adam took the rare chance to sneak off by himself, and go visit an old friend. Hanging out on a Friday afternoon at a friend’s apartment wasn't part of his life anymore. He couldn't think of the last time he'd done something from his past. Like stay in his old sweatpants all day and watch cartoons, before spending five hours in front of the mirror getting his hair perfect for a night out in

LA. Those were the old days. The days of playing in the theater and dreaming of being a star. Now he no longer needed to dream but a small part of him still missed the feeling those days gave him. Just hanging around Alisan's apartment dreaming of what was going to happen. So with his day free and nowhere to go Adam made his way over to Alisans to let her hear all about the latest drama in his life.

 

#

 

“Kris Allen.” Alisan sat back on her sofa with the large tub of ice cream perched on her lap. “I remember him.”

“I thought you might.” Of all the people Adam knew in Hollywood Alisan would the one person who was likely to know Kris. Just like Kris Alisan was a former child star too. Not as successful as Kris, but she had been around ten years ago. “Did you know him?”

“I was more of friend of Joshua's.” Alisan dipped her spoon into the tub of ice cream as Adam watched her. “It was so sad what happened to him.”

“Was it drugs?” Adam felt his stomach sink at the thought of Kris doing drugs. He just didn't seem the type.

“Joshua doing drugs?” Alisan scoffed. “Joshua Hughes was as into drugs as I am into all your ex's. Joshua didn't die because of drugs.” The tone in Alisan's voice made Adam sit up and take notice.

“So what killed him?” The ice cream tub was dumped on the table beside them as Alisan shifted over until she was pressed up against Adam's side.

“I love you. You know I do, but you don't need to hear what killed Joshua Hughes.” Alisan dipped her spoon into Adam's tub of ice cream before pointing it at him. “Anyway it's all rumors. Nothing was proven.

 

#

 

Adam arrived back home feeling very unsettled by his visit to Alisan's. After her little dramatic announced that drugs weren't involved in Joshua Hughes' death she had insisted they talk about something else, but Adam just could get Joshua Hughes out of his mind. He had quickly made an excuse to Alisan and he found himself back home before dinner.

Kris and his mom were in the kitchen when he arrived arguing over paint samples. “Why do I feel like I've been replaced?” Adam asked as he stood at the kitchen door watching his mom and Kris. “I feel like I've became the third favorite son.”

“Don't be silly,” Leila smiled sweetly at her son. “You've got to add your cousins in to. You probably my sixth favorite.”

“Is your mother like this, Kris?” Adam turned his attention to his future husband who had been happily standing back watching the teasing going on between mother and son.

“My mama is quite a lady.”

“Mama?” Adam bit back a laugh as Kris's cheeks began to heat up. “You call your mom mama?”

“Now stop that,” Leila scolded, “or I'll send you to your room without any dinner.”

Adam held his hands up in defeat as he sat back against the kitchen top while his mom and Kris continued their paint discussion. The abandoned Interview magazine lay at his side with Joshua Hughes' face staring back at him. “So this Interview thing,” Adam blurted out as Leila and Kris stopped what they were doing to look at him. “We should try a practice run with it. Like a mock interview.”

“That's a wonderful idea,” Leila gushed. Adam could almost see his mother's mind working. He knew the moment Kris's name was mentioned that his mother would try some kind of cupid mismatch. She had seem to spend Adam's whole adult life trying to find him a boyfriend. He put it down to her success at setting up Neil with his wife, and because she done it once she thought she could do it again. That mind blowing idea had resulted in Adam going on four blind dates set up with his mother, and end in a messy one nightstand, a torn pair of jeans from where he tried to climb out of the clubs bathroom window, a rather odd friendship, and a restraining order being put into place when he found the last guy living in his hedge.

 

#

 

Adam had a funny feeling he had been set up somehow. He had only suggested he and Kris practice their interview together, and the next thing he knew he was sitting across a restaurant table from Kris and the paparazzi were camped outside waiting. They had been outside the restaurant when Adam pulled the car up at the door, and Adam had to do everything but hold Kris's hand as they pushed their way into the restaurant.

“Do you think Todd called them?” Kris broke the silence at the table by pointing at the window where the paparazzi all stood with their cameras pressed up against the glass.

“Oh I'm sure he did.” Adam took a bite from his plate. “Do they bother you?”

Kris took a nervous look across the restaurant before shaking his head. “They've just got a lot more aggressive in the last ten years.”

“I like to pretend they're street lights,” Adam blurted out and making Kris look at him in a way that Adam could only describe as bewildered. “You know, because of all the flashing from the cameras.” Adam went on to explain while his face began to burn under Kris's look of confusion.

Dinner arrived soon after Adam's cheeks cooled down. He always had the same problem around cute guys. He would rattle off weird little thoughts that would either make his date laugh or making them think Adam was an idiot. Thankfully for Adam Kris looked like he was enjoying his little outburst of nervous chatter. The slight smile on Kris's face as they began to eat only let Adam know his little rant could continue.

“You forget they're out there, you know. The pack of dogs I like to call them. You forget about them after a while.”

“In my day they only ever really turned up outside an event or at a club if someone really famous was inside.”

“You were going to nightclubs at fourteen?” Adam already knew the answer to that question, but he wanted Kris to start talking, because if he had to fill the silence any longer he would really reveal himself to be a complete nerd.

“My parents were back in Arkansas.” Kris explained between mouthfuls of pasta. “I was out here alone with only a publicist, who lets say wasn't really looking after my childhood innocence.” Kris paused to scoop another forkful of pasta before looking up at Adam. “It was fun though.”

“So why stop it?” Adam took a delicate bite from his own plate. “Why give it all up to go to Rwanda?”

“It stopped being fun.”

Adam wanted to ask more, but Kris looked back down at his plate cutting off any followup question. If Adam was brave enough he would bring up Joshua Hughes. He would make it seem casual and hope Kris would give up the big secret that seemed to be all Adam could think about. Sadly Adam wasn't brave so he would just have to make up his own stories about the Joshua Hughes scandal.

 

#

 

“Take a look at this.” Todd came bursting into the kitchen disturbing Adam's morning silence. “Look,” he pressed as he slammed a pile of papers down on the middle of the table. “Everybody is talking, and the pictures are great.”

Adam looked across the breakfast table at Kris's sleepy face. He had just stumbled in and threw himself down across from Adam before Todd came in making his big announcement. “Is it all good?”

“All good?” Kris frowned. “What's good?”

“Hollywood's hottest new couple.” Todd flipped open the first paper. “How good is that picture?” Adam and Kris both leaned into the middle of the table to look at a picture of them both fighting their way through the paparazzi to get to their car. “My phone has been ringing off the hook since first thing.” Adam watched Kris closely as he studied the picture of them both in front of him. He'd love to know what Kris was thinking. Why his forehead was creased up into a frown. “Now you know what happens next,” Todd continued.

“A statement of denial,” Adam answered without looking away from Kris's face.

“Why would we deny it?” Kris's frown became deeper. “Isn't this what we want?”

“We have to play the game,” Todd explained as he scooped up the papers from the table. “We deny and deny until the 'accidental' photo of you two kissing is leaked.”

 

#

 

Adam noticed the change in Kris instantly. The second Todd mentioned the a kiss Kris shrunk back into himself, and completely shut off. He stopped hanging around with Leila to the point Adam had to convince his middle age mother that Kris hadn't fell out with her, and he was only trying to deal with being back in the public eye again. After full month of Kris living in Adam's house, and having the press camped outside Todd announced that it was time. Time to take an 'unplanned' trip to Vegas where they would get married on a whim, and the press would be there to catch it. Adam hated the idea of going to Vegas and doing that, but he also didn't like his mom's idea of putting on a big lavish wedding, and inviting all his friends. He didn't want the kind of wedding because he had sat through many of them before where he knew, and everyone else knew around him that it was fake. He had joked with his friends about the desperate stars and their need to keep the press interested in them. Now here he was getting ready in his bedroom to go to Vegas, and being just as desperate as the rest of them.

“So I was thinking.” Those were the first four words Kris had uttered in a full ten hours, and he decided to say them as they both stood in Adam's bedroom getting ready to head to the airport. “Maybe after all of this dies down you could come with me to Arkansas. My mama's been sort of on me for weeks now to bring you home.”

“Do they know the truth?” Adam felt so stupid asking that because really, he didn't know what the fuck was going on half the time when it involved Kris. They had moved from awkward strangers to something completely different. The only way Adam could describe it is if you imagine two strangers being kidnapped together, and being forced to share an enclosed space. You may not know that person really, but as time goes on and you're forced to be together there becomes an understanding.

“It would break my mama's heart if she really knew the truth,” Kris admitted as he started his fourth attempt at doing up his tie. “I was sort of hoping that...”

“I can do it.” Adam moved to help with the tie. “We're going to have to do it with the rest of the world anyway. I can pretend with your parents too.”

“I feel like shit for doing it to them.”

Adam stood in front of his almost husband with his knees bend slightly as he fixed his tie. The space between them wasn't much, and if Adam just moved in a tiny fraction he would feel Kris's breath on his own. “It's not like we're actually pretending though. We are really getting married. You are going to be my husband.”

A new look washed over Kris's face now. One that Adam couldn't place. “I wish I knew what you were thinking,” Adam breathed out in his first honest statement. Usually all of his talks with Kris were guarded. Much thought out sentences that required hours of prep before he could reveal them to Adam. But now standing in front of him with his soft brown eyes staring back at him, Adam felt the need to be honest. “You really confuse me sometimes. Sometimes I look at you and you're so open, and I can read every thought you have. Then there are other times where I think you just close down and your brain doesn't even work anymore.”

“Have you ever held a dying child in your arms and felt as the life slipped out of its body?” Kris wasn't looking at Adam anymore. His eyes were focused on the sliver chain that hung around his neck. “Or listened to a child as they describe to you in great detail how men in their villages would beat and rape them every day? How they walked for three solid days because they heard of an American who would take care of them, and not hurt them.” Adam had no idea how to answer that. Of course he hadn't done any of those things. He was a privileged singer who owned a mansion and got paid millions to sing a few songs every couple of weeks. “That was my reality for ten years,” Kris continued. “If I didn't shut off my brain every once in a while I would have went crazy.”

“You're in Hollywood now. Why keep shutting off your brain now?”

Kris let out a tired sigh as he moved away from Adam to focus on the window in front of him. “I ran away to Rwanda and listened to those stories every day,” he explained as Adam came to stand beside him. “I ran away from a nightmare and was willing to stay in Rwanda rather than face this town again.”

“I've always thought Hollywood was a place where dreams came true.” Adam looked out onto the Hollywood sign. “The place where people ran to and not away from.”

“Well dreams don't always come true,” Kris sighed as looked at the Hollywood sign in the distance.

 

#

 

The wedding wasn't exactly what Adam could call romantic. The only people there were Todd and Leila, and a minister who looked like he would rather be getting teeth pulled than performing a gay wedding. But Adam had pushed on through. He had sat through an awkward dinner where Leila did most of the talking, and now he and Kris were sitting in their honeymoon suite giving each other tiny glances across the room. Adam still couldn't stop thinking about Kris's little outburst of thoughts. He had probably told him more in that minute of talking that he had learned in the month they hadn't known each other, but Adam still didn't know the most important part. He didn't know what made Joshua Hughes crash that car. Adam hand read everything he could on the accident and what lead up to it. From what he can tell Joshua Hughes and Kris went into that VIP room happy after playing what was now known as a successful concert. They had spent an hour in that room before Joshua came racing out with Kris following after him. From that moment until the crash is a complete mystery to everyone but Kris.

“I've been thinking,” Kris announces pulling Adam from his thoughts. “We're married now. It's official so why don't we just be married. Stop thinking of it as a business commitment and just be married.”

Again it was more words that Kris had said all day. “We just do what other married people do?” Adam stood from his chair to walk over to the bed where Kris was sitting. “That's not going to feel awkward?”

“My whole life feels awkward,” Kris sighed. “Anything is better than this silence we've both been suffering for the last two hours.”

Adam thought it was a great idea. He would have happily went along with that idea over a month ago when Kris first walked into his house, but he didn't want to freak out the stranger and have him running back to his orphanage. “So you just want to do all the things married people do?”

“I think it's for the best.”

“And what exactly do married people do on their wedding night?” Adam asked as he tried to look like he was really curious.

Kris laughed. A genuine laugh that made Adam's heart flip. “I say we just do it and get it over with.”

“Well that's romantic,” Adam frowned.

“Trust me there is nothing romantic about this,” Kris sighed. “This is like out of some weird movie my agent used to send me, but I think if we get it out of the way the first time maybe it will get better.”

“So you're already planning on this being awful?” Adam frowned. He should really feel offended but all he can do is laugh. “I'll have you know I'm pretty good at this.” He motioned towards the bed. “I've never had a complaint.”

“You've never had me.” It was a smug reply that Adam wasn't expecting and it had him blushing.

 

#

 

Adam lay on top of the hotel bed with Kris beside him. Their playful teasing had gone and was now replaced with a nervous energy that Adam knew one wrong move and it would be all over for both of them. Adam had taken the lead by moving in for a kiss, but nothing else had happened. An hour later they were both still lying side by side on the bed making out with Adam's hand resting lightly on Kris's hip while Kris's hand was buried in Adam's hair. In any other situation Adam would have pushed the guy into the mattress and took over, but with Kris something felt different. He felt if he didn't take his time with Kris he might break him.

After breathing became a real problem Kris pulled away first to give Adam a shy smile. “Well that was different.”

“Different?” Adam asked with a nervous laugh. He'd never had his making out technique be called that before.

“Different for us I mean,” Kris explained when Adam's face gave away his confusion.

“Right,” Adam laughed. “This is different.”

Kris moved from his spot on the bed to stand at the side of it. “So it's getting late. We should probably...”

“Right,” Adam breathed out. “We've got a long day tomorrow.” Adam had never felt so awkward in his life as Kris began to strip in front of him. He so badly wanted to look, but somehow even after saying 'I do' he felt he didn't have the right to see Kris naked.

“Are you going to...” Kris was full of unfinished sentences which Adam had learned through the past month meant he was nervous.

“Right, yeah... I can...” It was also something he found himself doing more and more. That and rubbing his neck until it was red and sore. Thing he had learned from his new husband. Adam stood up from the bed slowly to tug on his tie. Kris was already down to his boxers and looking around the room with a look of panic on his face. “You know we don't...”

“We do,” Kris interrupted.

Adam nodded mutely as he began pulling the rest of his clothes off. He tried to focus on the floor or the bed or hell the awful picture on the wall behind Kris, but no matter where his eyes started they always found their way back to Kris's body. By the time he was naked Kris was already in the bed looking up at Adam. “Should I turn the lights off?” Kris nodded and Adam had to make the painful ten steps towards the light switch with his naked ass on display. If he thought hard about it Adam could not think of a time when sex was this awkward. Even his first time hadn't been this bad, but then drink was involved. Come to think of it drink was almost always involved in Adam's sex life. This was the first time in god knows how long he had actually got into bed with someone and been stone cold sober. He should have suggested a bottle of something strong but in the month of Kris being there he hadn't seen him drink once. He figured there was some sort of child star rehab story behind it, and he didn't want to be the one to bring it up. Especially not now that he was in bed with Kris completely naked.

“We should have probably talked about this before actually getting into the bed,” Kris said. “I mean how are we going to do this?”

“You mean what position?” Adam could feel his cheeks heating up as he spoke. “I'm usually a top.”

“Me too,” Kris sighed.

“Oh.” Well that was a first. Adam didn't think he'd ever been attracted to a top before.

“I guess it doesn't matter.” Kris made the first move by lying down on his back. “I suppose we could take turns.”

“Do you want me to go first?” Adam wondered if it was too late to ask for a bottle of Whiskey. Kris nodded mutely. “Okay,” Adam breathed out. He was going to do it. He was just going to climb on top and hope he didn't last long.

 

#

 

Adam might have looked like a picture of calm on the outside, but inside it was like a scene from a horror movie with Adam screaming at the top of his lungs for it to end. Adam hovered above Kris as they both moved together on the bed. There was a slight pleasure but that was soon forgotten about by the complete silence filling the room. Kris would glance his eyes over Adam's every few seconds but would quickly move away when Adam looked at him. They had been doing it for twenty minutes and Adam was so close to faking it and rolling off of him.

“Look could you maybe...” Kris shifted his hips causing Adam to pause. “I think you need to stop. I can't breathe.” Kris had went from acting like a corpse to thrashing under Adam until he was thrown over to the other side of the bed in a matter of seconds. “I can't breathe,” he panted again as he ran to open the balcony doors. Adam stayed rooted to the bed as he watched Kris's whole body shudder as he hung over the balcony railing. “I'm such a fucking idiot,” Kris cursed himself has he slumped over the railing panting for breath.

Adam moved quickly to stand behind him before god forbid he fell over. “Why don't you come back inside, and I'll get you some water.” Adam's hand hovered over Kris's back just slightly because he was afraid to touch him. He felt like any movement might result in Kris leaping over the ledge. “I could get my mom if you want?” He would have gotten him fucking plane out of here if it got him away from the ledge.

“You must think I'm an idiot,” Kris laughed out as he turned around slowly to reveal his tear stained face. “I thought I could do it. I thought I could be normal for once.”

“Look why don't we go back inside before someone see us out here.” Adam stole a quick glance around making sure no cameras were focused on them. He knew Todd well, and he knew Todd wouldn't let their wedding night go by without the press catching a glimpse of it. “Come back inside, Kris.” He held out his hand for Kris to take before leading him back inside. Once the balcony doors were closed and locked Adam felt he could let out the shaky breath he'd been holding since Kris threw him across the bed. “We can pretend this never happened if you want.”

Kris was already on the bed curled up on his side facing Adam. “I don't do this a lot,” he admitted pointing between himself and Adam. “Hook up I mean. I've spent the last ten years living in an orphanage. I can count on my hand the number of sexual encounters I've had, and all of them have been on trips back to the states. My whole life is revolved around taking care of my kids. This is just...”

“I get it,” Adam said as he moved towards the bed. “We shouldn't have moved so fast.”

“I wanted to,” Kris admitted. “I just wanted to be normal.”

“I don't think that's going to happen with me as your husband.” Adam tried to joke but Kris stayed looking serious.

“That's why I agreed to this.” Kris explained. “I wanted to feel again, and maybe start to...” Kris paused as he closed his eyes. “I'm really fucked up Adam. I've done things you wouldn't believe. I've had things done to me you wouldn't believe.”

“Try me.” Adam could feel it now. Whatever wall Kris had built up around him was now beginning to shake. If he just stayed calm and let Kris take the lead everything would become clear.

“I had this friend,” Kris began. “My best friend. He's was... well he was sort of like you.” Kris smiled as he reached over to take Adam's hand. “He had this bad boy attitude to life, but deep down, I mean when you got to know him he was just this normal sweet guy. I guess I was like a little puppy to him. I would follow him around just hoping for some sort of attention from him. He took care of me.” Kris smiled sadly causing Adam to squeeze his hand. “He wasn't gay or anything. People thought he was, but he was totally straight. He was like my brother. He always said that if anyone ever messed with me he would have my back.” Kris's eyes began to water. “I was such a fucking weak kid everybody messed with me. He died... my friend, he was killed in a car crash.”

“I know.” Adam broke his silence. “I know about Joshua.

Kris let out a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Did you know I killed him? Did you know it was my fault he was in that car like that? That if I wasn't so weak he wouldn't have got into that fucking car?”

“I don't understand.” Adam's head was spinning with unanswered questions. Questions he knew Kris probably wasn't in any fit state to answer.

“I let them do that to me,” Kris sobbed out. “I let those bastards do what they wanted to me, and Joshua just couldn't handle it. When he found out what they had been doing...”

“Who did it Kris?” Adam could probably guess what had been done to Kris when he was young, but he couldn't figure out who had done it.

“Everybody,” Kris choked out. “Take your pick,” he spat out. “I was a little party favor to them all at some point in time. I was so weak I couldn't say no. I just let them...”

“Did they do it in the VIP room that night?” Adam asked gently. “Is that why Joshua ran out of there?”

“He walked in...” Kris choked back a sob causing Adam to reach over and pull him to his chest.

“It's okay,” Adam whispered. “You don't have to tell me anymore.”

“He was so angry,” Kris sobbed out. “He thought I wanted to do it. He thought I wanted his whole band doing that to me, but I tried to stop them Adam, I swear I did, but they were too strong. There was too many of them.”

“It's okay,” Adam whispered as he rocked Kris back and forth.

“When we got in the car and he demanded to know what was going on I just blurted everything out,” Kris sobbed. “I told him about the movie producers who had done it, and the director, and his band. I told him about the drugs they gave me. How I had been doing it since I was twelve. Letting them use me like...god Adam he got so angry. He was yelling and calling me names, and then he...”

“Stop it,” Adam snapped. “Just stop it.” Adam didn't want to hear anymore. He knew what happened next, he didn't need Kris reliving it again. “Why didn't you tell the police after the accident? Why weren't these men charged?”

“I told my manager,” Kris breathed out a shaky breath. “I told him when I was in hospital, but there was so much going on that morning. Joshua had died in my arms, and the press were all over the place. We all knew they were going to find out about the drugs.”

Adam thought back to the newspaper article about Joshua, and about the drugs found in his system. “Kris why did Joshua have some drugs in his system that night? They said he was intoxicated.”

“They said the driver of the car was intoxicated.” Kris looked up at Adam slowly. “The driver had all those drugs in his system.”

“You were driving the car?” Adam watched as Kris nodded his head mutely. “You let everyone think Joshua was driving, that he was the one that crashed.”

“Alex fixed everything while I was in hospital,” Kris explained. “I didn't know what was going on until it was too late. Once I told him I was the one driving he had people fix it all so it looked like Joshua was driving. Like he'd been the one to lose control.”

“But Joshua never did drugs did he? He against them. That's why the crash never made sense to people who knew him, and that's why you ran away.” Adam moved off of the bed and away from Kris. He now couldn't breathe with what he had just learned.

“Alex said I would go to jail. He said no one would believe me about the rapes.”

“You let your best friend take the blame,” Adam shook his head in disbelief. “You let his parents think he was a drug addicted.”

“Like they cared,” Kris spat out. “Where do you think I got the drugs in the first place?” Adam found himself walking back over to the bed. “David Hughes was the president of his own studio. He was the one that gave me my first movie role, and that's how I met Joshua. I would stay at their house in LA. David Hughes was the first,” Kris spat out. “It was him that passed me around to his rich friends.” Adam reached across the bed to take Kris's hand again. “He helped Alex cover it all up, and when I tried to tell someone the truth it was David that raped me for the last time.”

“Stop it.” Adam let go of Kris's hand before running towards the bathroom. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't listen to it anymore.

“When I realized Joshua wasn't going to be around anymore.” Kris stood at the bathroom door as Adam splashed water on his face. “I realized I was alone. There was no one to protect me anymore. I knew I had to get away. I couldn't go back home. I couldn't face my family with what I had just went through so I ran. I took every penny I had and I got on the first plane out of Hollywood. How I ended up in Rwanda I'll never know. I was so confused with everything that happened, but I do remember meeting an old American woman in the airport. She told me she was a nun on her way to take care of the orphans. I asked her if I could come, and she said yes,” Kris laughed. “Just like that. Five days later I was helping dig up soil for a new orphanage she wanted to build. Six months after that I was wondering around the streets with her picking up abandoned children to fill our brand new orphanage.”

Adam pressed a fresh towel against his wet face before he turned to look at his new husband. “Why come back? Why face all of this again?”

 

“I saw your video,” Kris smiled. “I guess I fell in love.”

“With me?”

“I had spent ten years being closed off to the world, but one look at you strutting across the stage and I was feeling again. I could feel my heart beating in my chest again.”

Adam took a step forward towards Kris. “And you've told me everything? There's nothing else waiting to be revealed?”

“Isn't this enough?” Kris asked with wide eyes.

“We should probably get to sleep,” Adam sighed as he walked past Kris. “We've got to get up in a few hours.” Adam climbed back into the bed as Kris stayed at the bathroom door with a look on his face. Adam felt pretty proud of the fact he could just look at Kris and see he was looking unsure. He was beginning to understand Kris's little expression, and it had only taken him a month to do it. “Come back to bed, Kris.”

Kris moved quietly to the bed to climb into the other side beside Adam. “Are we okay?”

“Of course we are,” Adam smiled.

 

 

Six weeks later

 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Adam ran a nervous hand through his hair as he looked at himself in the mirror. “I mean should I wear the other outfit instead.”

“It's fine,” Kris laughed as he fixed his hair. “My parents aren't going to care what you're wearing.”

Adam knew Kris was right. He could walk into the Allen's home in a dress and they wouldn't care. Well they might, but they were far too polite to ever say anything about it. After the wedding night when Kris broke down and told Adam everything Adam had went through a period of blaming Kris's parents. He couldn't understand how a kid as young and naive a Kris was could be abused so badly, and no one was there to stop them. It had only been after a tragedy that Kris got away from the abuse. Adam just wondered where the Allen's were when this was happening to their son. He had put his questions to Kris but his husband had just shrugged, and said he was a good little liar when he was younger. His parents didn't suspect a thing because when Kris was around them he turned back into their little boy, and the pain he was going through disappeared for a little bit. They still didn't know the truth, and Kris wanted to keep it that way. He explained to Adam that telling them now wouldn't solve anything, and it would only lead his parents to blame themselves.

So now Adam was getting ready to meet his new in-laws, and he had a whole lot of secrets to keep from them. “Should I wear my hair down?”

“I like it how it is,” Kris smiled as he stood behind his husband to run his hand through it. “You shouldn't worry.”

 

“I should.” It wasn't just the secrets he was going to have to keep from the Allen's that was worry him. There was also the fact that he was about to meet a couple of church going southerners who were now about to meet their son-in-law the rock star. Adam was pretty sure they weren't going to be welcoming him with open arms.

 

#

 

Kim Allen appeared first in the driveway as Kris stopped the car, and Adam had been very wrong. The moment he got out of the car he was wrapped up in a hug so strong he almost felt the air being squeezed from his lungs.

“My, my,” Kim said as he pulled back to look Adam over. “You're much more handsome in real life.”

“Thank you?” Was all Adam could say, because really, what else could he say?

“And look at you all happy looking.” Adam was out Kim's arms and replaced with Kris before he could blink. “Oh I missed you so much, baby boy.” Adam stood back watching his husband and new mother-in-law share their moment when the front door swung open again and an older man cam walking out. One look at the man's face and Adam knew what was about to happen next.

“You are handsome,” the man, or Adam's father-in-law laughed before pulling Adam in for a hug. “How was the flight?”

“Adam slept all the way,” Kris joked as he walked up to give his dad a hug before standing beside Adam. “Now before we all go inside can you both reassure Adam that you like him?”

“Kris.” Oh Adam wanted to kill him for that, but the light laughing coming from his in-laws stopped him.

“Come inside, boys,” Neil said putting a strong hand on both Kris and Adam's back to lead them towards the door.

 

#

 

Adam was actually having fun. He was sitting in the Allen's living room watching the damn Bear movie and having real fun. “You're really good,” Adam whispered. He was sitting with Kris on one of the Allen's sofa's while Kim and Neil sat on the other. It had been Kim's idea to put on the movie after dinner, because it was what they did when ever Kris came home.

“I was happy,” Kris whispered back so his parents didn't hear. “Acting was my escape.”

Adam reached out to run his fingers over Kris's face as Kris's eyes fluttered shut. “You should do it again. Acting I mean. You have a talent for it.”

“But I'm already happy,” Kris whispered. “I don't need an escape.”

“Are you really happy?” Adam's fingers stopped to hold Kris's chin. “Are you happy with me?”

Kris stole a quick glance towards his parents to make sure they weren't being spied on before he reached it to take Adam's lips in his own. “Does that answer your question?” Kris asked when he pulled away to rest his head against Adam's.

“I think so,” Adam smirked before capturing Kris's lips again.

 

#

 

“So I'm now a groupie?” Kris tried his best to look like he was upset, but Adam could read his husband like a book. He knew Kris Allen's looks.

“I just want my husband to come and see me sing.” Adam and Kris sat backstage at one of Adam's gigs. The first one since they got married two months ago, and it was all making Kris just a little bit nervous. “You can stop worrying you know,” Adam said breaking Kris from his thoughts. Adam knew why Kris jumped every time the door opened to reveal one of Adam's roadies. Kris's past had involved a lot of backstage areas, and Adam knew that. Kris had went into greater detail about his past, and even though Adam didn't really want to hear it he had sat and listened to his husband until Kris was free from all his secrets.

“I can stand at the side of the stage?”

“You can come and stand beside me on stage if that's what you want,” Adam smirked causing Kris to laugh.

“I'm sure the side of the stage will be fine.”

Adam stood from his makeup area to walk over to where Kris was sitting. “I told the band we'd have dinner with them afterwords. I said I would ask you first though... I mean you don't have to...”

“It's fine,” Kris smiled softly. “I should meet your friends.”

Adam pulled a face as he tugged Kris into his arms. “Is it bad that I don't want to share you? I like having you all to myself.”

“I've turned you into a hermit,” Kris laughed. “The only people we hang out with is your mother and Todd.”

“Well if it was up to me we would never leave our bedroom,” Adam shrugged.

“On in ten, Rock star.”

Adam pulled away from his husband as the door opened and the band began to fill it. He kept to Kris's side as he introduced each member to Kris. It was all going so well until the last member of

Adam's band walked in. It was Kris's shaking that first let Adam know something was wrong. He could feel his husband's body vibrating beside him, and when he turned to ask Kris what was wrong his husband's face wore a look of fear. The same look Adam had seen on Kris the night of their wedding right before Kris freaked out and ran to the balcony.

“Baby?”

“I've got to get out of here.” Kris was panicking and beginning to get notice from everyone around them.

 

“Kris what is it?”

“Adam I can't breathe.” Kris's whole body was shaking now as he struggled to get away from Adam's grasp. “Let me go,” Kris snapped as he finally freed himself from Adam's hold.

Adam watched in shock as Kris ran out of the dressing room past all of the band. It was the soft murmurs of the bands whispering that pulled Adam from his daze as he raced towards the door to catch Kris. Adam ran towards the back entrance of the venue before he caught sight of Kris climbing into their car. “Kris?” Adam yelled across the empty parking lot. “Kris, what are you doing?” Adam ran towards the car as Kris fought with himself to unlock the driver’s side door.

“How do you know him, Adam?” Kris yelled as he managed to unlock the car.

Adam got to the car just as Kris started up the engine. “Kris, what the hell is going on?” Adam snapped as he climbed into the passenger’s side. “Why did you freak out back there?”

“How do you know Bryan?”

“He's my drummer... Kris what the hell is going on?” Adam gripped onto the dashboard as the car began to move.

“He used to be Joshua's drummer.” Kris gripped the steering wheel tight as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“He was there? Bryan was there that night?” Adam tried to breathe through the deep feeling of nausea washing over him. “Kris you're going to have to slow down.”

“I've got to get out of here, Adam. I can't be here anymore.”

Adam felt the blur from the trees outside as he tried his best to focus on his husband. “Baby, please just slow down so we can talk about this.”

“I don't know how I thought I could do this.”

“Baby.” Adam knew Kris wasn't even listening. In fact he probably wasn't even aware that Adam was in the car beside him. He was too far gone. “Kris please, you're scaring me. Kris...Kris.” It was the last thing Adam said before the car spun out of control causing him to hit his head on the dashboard.

 

#

 

Adam was surrounded by pain. From the top of his head to his legs everything hurt. Even a month after the accident. Doctors told him he was lucky to be alive, and that the four day coma he was in probably saved him a lot of suffering. It was two weeks before they thought he was fit enough to go home, and even then Adam thought he wasn't ready. He was still in so much pain, and the strongest coming from his heart. Adam had his fair share of heartache, and he thought he had been through it all, but the feeling he was now having just couldn't compete. Even the two broken legs and broken collar bone couldn't compete with the heartache.

“Honey?” Adam looked up from his make shift bed in the living room to find his mom standing holding a tray. “I made you some soup.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“Honey, I wish you wouldn't sulk,” Leila sighed as she placed the tray down on his lap. “None of this is my fault.

“You could have stopped him. You could have made him stay.”

“I was too busy worrying about if my son was going to live or die.” Leila let her fake 'everything is going to be okay' mask slip for a second before she was composing herself again. “Anyway, he wasn't going to listen to me. Kris was too far gone to be reasoned with.”

Adam turned his attention away from his mom to the photo frame that sat by his bedside. Although they had known each other for two months Adam had only managed to get Kris to pose for one picture with him. It was taken on the flight to visit the Allen's. Adam had pressed his head up against Kris's and demanded he take his mind off of his fear of flying. Kris's only suggestion was to take a funny picture. Now the picture went everywhere Adam did because it was the only thing he had left.

“Have you called Kim today?” Adam sat the picture back down on the table beside him as he looked his mom.

“She hasn't heard for him.”

“He can't just have disappeared,” Adam snapped.

“He did it before,” Leila reminded her son. “Look just eat some of your soup.”

“I'm going to call the orphanage again.” Adam reached for his phone but Leila beat him to it.

“They said he's not been in touch.”

“He can't just have disappeared. He doesn't even know if I'm alive or dead.” Adam could feel the tears burning up behind his eyes. “Can you just leave me alone please?”

“Are you going to eat some soup?”

“I don't want your fucking soup,” Adam snapped as he threw the train across the room.

“Taking it out on me isn't going to help you get over him, Adam.” Leila busied herself with picking up the bowl and tray from the floor.

“I don't want to get over him,” Adam mumbled to himself as he looked back down at the picture frame again.

 

#

 

Adam paused at the side of the road as he stopped to lean on his walking stick. It had been four months of being wheeled around my his mom before he was finally able to walk. The doctors said if he could walk fifty steps without any pain then they would allow him to fly to New York for his first photo shoot since his accident. The whole entertainment industry were all a buzz with the news of his return. The rock god back from the dead to take on the music industry once again. It was the biggest comeback of the year, and Adam had happily accepted Todd's idea of a brand new photo shoot. While Todd and Leila took an early flight to set things up Adam had arranged to fly on his own. So when he arrived at the airport for his flight he had bypassed the gate to New York, and headed straight for the one going to Rwanda.

Adam had never claimed to be a smart man but even he knew when everyone was lying to him. Leila would always look at the ground at the mention of Kris's name. Kim had stopped taking his calls weeks ago, and even the woman at the orphanage had got so bored with his calls that she allowed the kids who couldn't speak English to talk him now. So with the pain shooting through his leg he made his way down the abandoned desert road. He had jumped into a cab when his plane landed in Nemba, but had soon found out the orphanage was on a private road, and the only way to get to it was by walking. So he dragged his expensive Italian luggage through the dirty was he hobbled up the dirt road.

He had been walking for about two hours when he was met by a young boy walking towards him. “Hey kid?” The boy's head shot up at the sound of Adam's voice and he quickly began backing away. “I'm not going to hurt you.” Adam tried walking faster causing the kid to stumble backwards. “I'm looking Kris. Do you know who Kris is?” The kid took off running leaving Adam yelling after him. “Come on, do I look like I'm going to hurt you? Stupid little idiot.” Adam kicked dirt under his feet as the boy disappeared over the hill. He was hot, tired, and at that very moment there was sweat running down places it really should be. He took a seat on top of his bag as the throbbing in his leg became too much to bare. He had popped the last of his pain killers when he realized the road to the orphanage wasn't just a driveway like he thought it would be.

He had only closed his eyes for a few minutes when heard a rush of footsteps coming towards him. When he looked up and saw a shadow casting over him he freaked. Every horror movie ending flash through his mind as he struggled to get off of the bag and fight whatever was holding onto his arms.

“It's me.” Adam stopped struggling at the sound of the American accent. “It's okay, it's me.” Adam slumped to his knees as he felt his husband's arms wrap around him. “It's okay,” Kris continued to whisper as he stroked Adam's hair.

 

#

 

Adam looked across the table as Kris took another forkful of rice. “You should eat something. You look like you've lost weight.”

“I've been sick for the last five months.” Adam wanted those words to hurt his husband, and by the look he was now getting he achieved his goal. “You need to allow cabs to come up here.” Adam changed the subject hoping Kris would say something. “The walk up here is a bitch.”

“How did you know I was here?”

Adam looked around the yard at the children playing. “This is where you belong.” Adam had to say those words before he actually believed it. “You belong here,” he repeated it more for himself than for Kris. “I shouldn't have came here.” Adam struggled to stand causing Kris to reach out and help him.

“You should rest. You look in pain.”

“I'm used to,” Adam shrugged as he picked up his walking stick. “I shouldn't have came here. I don't belong here.”

“Where are you going?” Kris called out as Adam began walking away.

Adam turned slowly to look at his husband. “You take care of yourself, Kris.” Adam took one long last look at his husband before turning and walking away.

 

#

 

One year later

 

Adam hobbled towards the ringing phone abandoning his walking stick half way there. “Hello?”

“Well?” Came his mother’s voice. “How did it go?”

“He's a devil worshiper,” Adam answered dryly. “Think I should go on a second date with him?”

“Oh very funny,” Leila sighed. “Was he handsome?”

Adam limped to the fire place to lean against it. “His horns were kind of hot.”

“Can I just say that your bad sense of humor is probably why you're only attracting devil worshipers.”

Adam smiled at his moms words as his eyes fell on the familiar photo frame on the fire place. “Maybe that's it. I'm destined to live alone because I can't tell a decent joke.”

“You're going to find your perfect partner,” Leila said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “You just have to get out there more. Play the field.”

“Isn't playing the field what got me into this mess in the first place?”

“I'm hanging up on your now, because you really aren't funny.”

“Bye mom.”

“Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“I think the love of your life is closer that you think.”

“Well let's hope so.” Adam kept the phone pressed to his ear after his mom hung up as he studied the photo in front of him.

The sound of the door bell ringing pulled him from his daze. Hobbling to the door he bent to pick up his stick half way there as the door bell rang again. “I'm coming,” he yelled as he reached his door. “If this is your Todd I'm going to...”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Adam repeated as he looked at his husband. His husband who was now standing on his door step looking all hot and tanned.

Kris peeked his head around the door frame to look inside. “You mom said I could come over.”

“My mom?”

“I called her a while ago,” Kris looked down shuffling his feet. “I was wanting to know if you were seeing someone before I came here. She said she thought it would be good if I came. Does that mean you're not seeing anyone?”

“I don't see anyone,” Adam spluttered out. “Everybody's a nobody.”

“Right,” Kris laughed. “Well I just came to say something.”

“What?”

“I came to tell you that you were wrong,” Kris swallowed. “Last year you told me I belonged at the orphanage, but you were wrong.”

“I was?”

“I don't want to be long there...I...fuck,” Kris snapped. “I've rehearsing this speech for a full year and now I'm fucking it up.”

“Just tell me what you want.”

“You.” Kris stepped into the house. “Can I have you?”

“Do I get to have you too?”

“If you want me.”

“I want you.”

“I want you too,” Kris admitted as he closed the front door behind him.

 

 

 

The End.


End file.
